It has been awhile since I did any writing. I have been avoiding it, the same way I have been avoiding answering the phone or taking care of errands outside the house; like I avoid thinking about the past or the future.
I wrote a check at the grocery store yesterday, and instead of just getting the year wrong (first week of January- it happens), I had posted it 9-3-2015. September? How did I get that so wrong? Then it hit me; that was the day Mom died. Part of me is still right there, frozen in that moment four months ago, telling her she can be free and hoping I am right.
You died and I became a ghost
A phantom of my former self
I wandered drowning through a flood of memories
A hailstorm of images pounded me to dust
Every song a deafening blow
Every breeze a whisper strained to hear
I was the deer in headlights
the rabbit gone tharn
No one could speak to me
I disappeared
and cannot tell if I have been
or ever will be
found.
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